A Guangxi Girl...Growing up in China, 1987

“My story begins in the small village in Baise, Guangxi Province in 1987.

I was born, no 4 daughter to my farming family. They were desperate to have a son! In our village, it still brought great shame to have no son to carry on the family name. During each pregnancy, my mother would have to hide in the forest, or with a relative to make sure that her child was allowed to be born.

Despite their disappointment at “only” having 4 girls, we were a happy, if poor family.

However when I was age 3, my father was killed in a horrific accident with a wild boar. 

Life changed for us all that day!

My mother was unable to work in the fields, and care for 4 young children.

My grandmother, who lived a day’s travel away from our village, came to take myself and my youngest sister to stay with her.

I was now three years old and could no longer see my mother. Because of the great distance and difficulties of travel, we could only meet once a year. It was very painful for me.

So my life began again at my grandmother’s house. I grew up there as the oldest child along with my younger sister, and my 2 young cousins whose parents were working in the city to make ends meet. My grandmother had to work in the fields to support all of us, along with my 90 year old great grandmother. By the age of 6, I had learned to take care of the younger children, feeding them, putting them to sleep and taking care of them. 

I knew how to feed the animals and prepare the rice for my grandmother coming home from the fields, tired.

                                                      (Nai Nai with me now)

At age 7, my life was to change again! As the primary school in my grandmother’s village was very poor, I was to go back to my mother’s village to attend school. 

In this time, my mother had remarried, and there were 3 more step-children in the home. When I came home with my sister, it meant that my 2 older sisters had to leave and live with other relatives. This was so hard for them. And us!

This was not real a “homecoming” for me, as there was only room for me to eat my meals with my mother. At night I had to share a bed with relatives and friends.

I felt homeless.

However, I enjoyed attending school, where I did very well. I was often the top student in my class. I lived in a beautiful place, but it was a hard life due to poverty and lack of opportunity for many girls.

                                        

       

Life was hard and we knew we were poor. 

Even in my village the other kids had new clothes, but I mostly wore my aunt’s clothes and shoes. 

But it was OK – I was clothed.

       

We were often hungry with basic meals of corn rice for breakfast and lunch every day. Dinner would be rice and vegetables. ………….

However life was OK. I  managed fine and did well at school.

Life again changed when I was 13 and graduating from Primary school. My stepfather took me aside and told me it was good that I had done so well at school, but he was not going to support me any longer to go to Middle School!

He told me that if I could do it on my own that was fine! 

But he was not going to help me!

I was so angry!

With my stepfather for not helping me!

But even more with my mother, for not arguing with him, standing up for me, helping me to go to school!

But, despite the hardships in my life, there was always seemed to be an “angel” to help me on my way.

My second sister had left Primary school 2 years before me and was now working in a factory. She managed to beg the owner to let me work there too to earn the money to pay for my Middle School. My sister also gave me most of her income so that I could go to Middle School. I managed to survive the first 2 years there, but I did not sleep, I was always worried. I did not have the time or the energy to make friends. Life was hard!

Then in my 3^rd year, I met Matthew Xu of GGEF (Girl’s Global Education Fund). This was a wonderful organisation set up by a US mother who had adopted 2 girls from China, and wanted to make a difference for girls in poor rural areas who could not afford an education. This was to change my life!

                             

My sponsor and his family were a great support to me helping me through Middle School. When he left China to live in Canada, he got in touch with several of his friends. They together with their families supported me all the way thro High School. They offered me so much more than financial support, but also the guidance and advice I had not received from my family.

       

Throughout my education, other “angels “ were to come my way, guiding and changing my life.

My High School Teacher, a Christian, inspired me when I was at a low point.

Where in Primary & Middle School, I had been a top student, now at a top High School I was struggling to find that I was no longer top! I felt a failure, and worried that I was wasting my sponsor’s money. I felt like quitting school. She reassured me, reminded me that I was a worthwhile person in my own right, worthy of love and acceptance, even if I was not ”the top student”. Gradually LOVE began to change my life.

When, after High School, my friend sent me this beautiful postcard, I finally realised that I was not just “a person in need”, I was also a person who could give love back, and also help others.

Dear Pig Ju,

 I was thinking

about using one word to  describe you- 

You are like  a BLANKET!

You give warmth, security, and make me feel comfortable.

I want to say Thank you to you because you show me love.

 And I miss you

I hope the wind brings this message to you and you can hear it in your dreams.

Love Pig Lei xx

                                   This was a big turning point in my life.

And so I continued thro my Education at University in Guilin. At this time, I had begun to feel a need to “give back” and had reconnected with Matthew Xu to see how I could help. I was happy to help translate letters from the girls to their sponsors. I visited hospital to help one of our Guangxi Girls who had been badly burnt. I was part of the Guangxi Girls Family which was now run by Hope4China’sChildren.

I was very proud on the day I finally graduated from Guangxi University, with a degree in Japanese, to have Matthew Xu attend to share this special day with me!

And now I, this little girl from a Baise village, had big dreams of working in the city- Shanghai, Shenzen……

But another “angel” came my way….. and whispered in my ear that the big city really didn’t need me! But maybe my home town did? I was not too sure I liked that idea?

                

                 I found a good job with Pilkington, UK – working on the China end!

                           

But one day Matthew called me and asked me if I would like to come and help , working for the Guangxi Girls Education Programme. I felt interested, but this was not my plan?

I came to Nanning for an interview with Matthew and Linda who run the Guangxi Girls Education Programme through Hope4China and it became clear that this was what I was meant to do.

                                  And so I came to live and work in Nanning!

I am now delighted to work with girls in Guangxi, who face the same struggles I experienced. 

And also to connect with the many adopted girls I have met, to help them reconnect with the land of their birth, and help them to understand the difficult circumstances for many families in rural China, and how it may have been for their birth families there.